If you want self-love, you need to love yourself, and that ability comes from understanding multiple aspects of your life, accepting the now in each of those and changing what you don’t like, want or need, as much as you can. It’s also about knowing and accepting that things will happen in life that you have no control over but that you are okay as you are whatever happens, and you will get through any challenge life has to offer you.
If you rush around being swept up in life, it can be tough to focus on yourself. But you need to spend some time with yourself in order to assess how life really is for you, and if you need to make any dramatic and significant changes to improve your life. This starts with understanding yourself in this moment, right now! This is called being present and mindful.
What is in the past has gone, and while it is useful to reflect and learn from it, you must not hold onto it so it consumes you in the present. If you do not change and move on, you stay stagnant and this can lead to depression. Your mind needs to be stimulated and if you don’t, all you will keep doing is going around life in circles like the clothes cycle in a washing machine, and your brain will die, even if your body is still here – this was me yeas ago. I stayed doing the normal things, because that is how I was programmed to be, then, in 2012, I woke up to a different life and a different way of being when I saw Life and Business Coach Anthony Robbins at a Success Seminar in London. He taught among others things, to change your state if you want to change your life and to get out of your comfort zone – I did both of those things and keep pushing myself to do them as much as possible, every year and often month to month, despite still having some personal anxiety at times. Why do I do this? Because I want to lead as rich and full life as possible, one that does not involve me watching countless hours of soaps and not adding any value to people’s lives. Because I know I have more to give to the world than I am currently giving and therefore, I have more to give myself. I have to give myself more confidence, more self-belief and more empowerment, and in return I will receive more self-love to cuddle up to.
So think about your life right now and think about how you would like to change it? Think about your:
- Relationships – With family, with friends and with loved ones?
- Health – Are you feeling good in your body?
- Mind – Are your thoughts negative or positive?
- Are you actively seeking work you love or are you trying to clutch at straws to get anything you can?
- Finances – How are they right now? What do you think will improve your situation is this aspect and what are you going to do about it?
- Life goals and mission – Do you know your purpose? Do you know what you would love to do and how are you going to achieve that?
- Attitude – This is tied into mindset, but have you got the right attitude to get you the right mindset?
Assess how you are in each of these in a scale of 1-10. 10 being, for example, my relationships are awesome, to 1, not got any relationships, life sucks!
Then you need to find out how you are going to change what you are not happy with. Self-Love, comes from loving ones life as is, despite adversity and setbacks. But it is also about being honest with yourself. If any of these areas are making you feel bad, you need to change that. If you hate change – welcome to the club! Even I still find change difficult, but if you want to have a richer life and feel alive, you have to move and that means changing what you do and yes, that may me changing YOU too, to be the best version of you! Life is short, time is precious, so get a move on with your life!
In order to change, self-awareness is key. When a change happens to us, like we are made redundant, we then start to question our life and think about what has happened and what may happen. But why wait for any more change to happen to you? Wouldn’t it be better to make change work for you? Find out what you love, what makes you feel great and go do that. Be your own self and love you. Love all that you are and all that you do!
Sometimes when we care for others, we can forget to look after ourself. But self-love is more than just looking after yourself, it is about that deep soulmate connection with your inner being. It is about recognising your weaknesses and your strengths, and still loving YOU anyway. It is about taking time out for you; about understanding what makes you tick and what makes you feel and come alive! How are you practising self-love today? Watch, share and subscribe for more inspirational videos!
How are you celebrating today?
I am in Bristol later today to celebrate – going to the zoo and for a meal and to the cinema.
Lots of love and hugs, stay positive xx
Being redundant can really suck, but what is worse is being made redundant and feeling lost as a single person. But all is not lost. Being single can be beautiful and here are 7 steps you can take to become happy being single!
International Celebrate Being Single Day is just around the corner (Feb 14th), and having founded this special day for singles to celebrate being single, you may be asking yourself, just what is so great about being single. For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may have seen my www.Twitter.com/quirkycoaching profile and thought, just what is #powerofone. Power Of One is a powerful online training and coaching programme that I am creating, to show you, just how to be single and be happy being single.
Since being predominantly single from November 5th, 2011, I began to challenge my mind about the way it thinks about being in a relationship and being single. I was in relationships with guys who were no good for me since 15 years of age – until 2011 – about 19 years of my life! With the largest period of being single in that time, just 6 months! 2 relationships I had were long term (not good for me) and lasted years. I wasn’t a happy person back then and had low self-esteem. I did not like being on my own because I felt alone and very lonely, I liked to be needed, wanted and loved, and felt I wanted someone there for me 24/7 as life would be boring on my own. I am also a very romantic person.
It is fine to want to be needed, wanted and loved – but what I have discovered is that you need to get these 3 things from yourself first and foremost; to be at one with your own soul – then you will you be happy and fulfilled as a single person and less likely to get into a relationship that is no good for you because you will not ‘need’ to be in a relationship. In fact, you may fill your own life with so much joy and happiness that being in a relationship no longer appeals to you. Either way, you will have unleashed your power of one and be on your way to being a super successful single sensation.
Step 1. You need to take stock of your life and realise that you have a problem being single and find out why that is.
Step 2. You need to be willing to have an open mind and accept you need to change in this respect.
Step 3. If you have been in relationships for most of your life, you need to give yourself some time to yourself and vow to do all you can to stay single for a set period of time – mine was a year; so I could have time to stop ‘needing’ someone. If on the other hand you have been single all your life and would like to be in a relationship but don’t know how to go about it, then you have some work to do on yourself to ensure you can be single and be happy – as well as work to do on your dating and relationship skills. You can still enjoy dating as a single person and it is good to see what is on offer from a variety of sources, rather than thinking one person is the only choice you have!
Step 4.You need to explore and find things to build your confidence and self-esteem, as well as discover ways to help you to be happy being single. This could include learning from books, articles, training courses, magazines, blogs, videos, audio books and podcasts, or through coaching and/or being mentored.
Step 5. You need to decide what ways you learn best – visual, auditory (listen), verbal, written, – so you can pick which learning method is best for you and implement it. If you don’t know which suits you best, try each out until you find which works best for you. Being happy to be single is a skill you need to master and maintain and you need to recognise this and accept it.
Step 6. Take massive action. You need to implement what you have learned, if you are not prepared to do this then you will stay stuck being single and unhappy – everyone has a choice regardless of their circumstances. If you have no money there is free to watch YouTube videos, blog posts and online articles to read. There is no excuse for not changing your life!
Step 7. Evaluate and monitor your progress via each learning method. If something doesn’t work, then try something else until you can honestly say you are happy being single.
If you would like the early bird offer for my new online training/coaching course when it comes out – just fill in the form below and you will also receive a free bi-monthly newsletter with information, inspiration, motivation and advice, about how to be happy being single.
How are you celebrating being single on Feb 14th – International Celebrate Being Single Day?
Please add #ICBSD to any posts and media you post online to show how proud you are to celebrate International Celebrate Being Single Day!!
What struggles do you have being single and what help would you like to overcome them?
Until next time
In this video, me and Angel talk about living the life only you were born to lead! And we wish you much February love.