Sometimes someone may come into your life, who is far from perfect, but you see the hidden gems in them. You see the best in them, their warm heart, their beautiful face, their young words of wisdom encased in an old soul. You think this is it! This is the awesome person that I may have been waiting for all my life, maybe as a friend or maybe more.
But as months go by and your bond grows, your insticts are not 100% agreeing with your vision and very soon, the real person emerges, but this time these imperfections are more that that, they are an innocent and naive weapon, in the fight to control the situation and you. They are an intentional stab in the back, because you did not do what they wanted you to do. Because you weren’t there, they quickly replaced you with someone else. While you were expected to wait for them when they demanded it and ‘told’ you. And worse of all, they turned to one of your own friends, whom you know is a good person and known for years. And you are left with a feeling of betrayal, hurt and pain, all the whilst knowing that your friend although not interested in the same way, is also being used and they do not reply to you.
You toughen up and come to your senses, you feel pity for their insecurities, hurt by the redicule of your own hurt – as if it is some sort of joke, that lies seemed to have come flooding out like a volcano with multiple colours of lava flowing into the other. And you take back your own power, control and sense of calm in your life, by blocking them out from yours, as much as possible.
You feel a sense of peace, because for once in your life, you love yourself enough, to set yourself free. Free from the pain, the anguish and hurt, and not waste your life giving this person chances, but know that you can find someone else who will care about you and respect you no end. Even if they have not entered your life yet, you are confident and self-assured that they will do!
Some friends come and go – so do some loves. But the one thing I want you to remember, is to never leave your own soul. Never leave the true you. Never let yourself cry or be in pain longer than you need to be, to rid yourself from it naturally. Be there for yourself no matter what. To take the role of the father, the mother, and the child within you, when each situation calls for it. But most of all, to be the bestest ever friend to yourself, to love yourself implicitly, and to not settle for anything less than than what is good and right for you. Remember these 3 simple words to say to yourself – I LOVE YOU!
We only get one life. We can chose to live it as an ‘ordinary’ person, doing what ‘ordinary’ people do. Or we can choose a different path. We can choose to be extraordinary. But … most people won’t. Because it is not easy. It is hard. It is challenging and that can be terrifying. Some people will mock you, some people will leave you, some people will insult you, some people will say nasty things to you … But some people will follow you. Some people will listen to you and be lead by you. Some people will see how brave you are and want to be brave right back, because you inspired them to be, more than they had hoped for themselves. More than they could have ever dreamed of being, and more than they could have ever wished for. Their life changed, because one day, you changed your own, and that in turn had a knock on effect.
See, when we are negative, it can spread like a disease. But when we are positive, that can spread love and light to others. It can reach out a hand and offer them the eternal flame of light in which to see. And once that flame of light touches their soul, they cannot look back, they have to keep moving forward, with every breath in their body and every thought in their life. Because when you take courage to be great, to be better than your current circumstances dictate, your state has made that revolutionary change, that means you cannot change back. You can no longer be ordinary, because your mind has been broken and freed from that emotional state that only lets you see what is in front of you, and never what may be. Never those possibilities, that only someone with more than just the face of this earth, can unearth. You have finally come alive and woken up to you. Now there is nothing more you can do, but to explore this world, this new light and let it into your life and light up your world. You were born for greatness and don’t ever forget that! Ever again! You can’t, you won’t, because now you have been touched by that which you did not know, but now you do!!
When you are made redundant, rather than going back into employment, you may want to try your hand at being self-employed. But running your own business can be so tough! In order to assess your life as a self-employed person, or avoid some of the pitfalls, I would recommend getting this book. Here is my review that I left on Amazon.
I won this book directly from Brad at The Business Show a few years ago, and just got around to reading it, when I needed to read it the most, as I have been struggling of late in both life and business – directly related! Being quirky, I am a huge fan of Brad and his quirky business methods. I love the fact it is written in his conversational, non-nonsense style and that he is completely himself. In this book, Brad asks you to ask yourself all of the hard questions that you often avoid acting upon, because of fear. I really liked the fact that there is exercises throughout the book to allow you to asses what you learnt about your own life and business from Brad’s own life and business experiences and lessons. He makes you think and find soul securing answers and face them head on. This is a great book to help you come unstuck and move forward with your own unique mission. Thanks Brad, for keeping it real and for another awesome book that speaks Braddism at its best!
If you want self-love, you need to love yourself, and that ability comes from understanding multiple aspects of your life, accepting the now in each of those and changing what you don’t like, want or need, as much as you can. It’s also about knowing and accepting that things will happen in life that you have no control over but that you are okay as you are whatever happens, and you will get through any challenge life has to offer you.
If you rush around being swept up in life, it can be tough to focus on yourself. But you need to spend some time with yourself in order to assess how life really is for you, and if you need to make any dramatic and significant changes to improve your life. This starts with understanding yourself in this moment, right now! This is called being present and mindful.
What is in the past has gone, and while it is useful to reflect and learn from it, you must not hold onto it so it consumes you in the present. If you do not change and move on, you stay stagnant and this can lead to depression. Your mind needs to be stimulated and if you don’t, all you will keep doing is going around life in circles like the clothes cycle in a washing machine, and your brain will die, even if your body is still here – this was me yeas ago. I stayed doing the normal things, because that is how I was programmed to be, then, in 2012, I woke up to a different life and a different way of being when I saw Life and Business Coach Anthony Robbins at a Success Seminar in London. He taught among others things, to change your state if you want to change your life and to get out of your comfort zone – I did both of those things and keep pushing myself to do them as much as possible, every year and often month to month, despite still having some personal anxiety at times. Why do I do this? Because I want to lead as rich and full life as possible, one that does not involve me watching countless hours of soaps and not adding any value to people’s lives. Because I know I have more to give to the world than I am currently giving and therefore, I have more to give myself. I have to give myself more confidence, more self-belief and more empowerment, and in return I will receive more self-love to cuddle up to.
So think about your life right now and think about how you would like to change it? Think about your:
Relationships – With family, with friends and with loved ones?
Health – Are you feeling good in your body?
Mind – Are your thoughts negative or positive?
Are you actively seeking work you love or are you trying to clutch at straws to get anything you can?
Finances – How are they right now? What do you think will improve your situation is this aspect and what are you going to do about it?
Life goals and mission – Do you know your purpose? Do you know what you would love to do and how are you going to achieve that?
Attitude – This is tied into mindset, but have you got the right attitude to get you the right mindset?
Assess how you are in each of these in a scale of 1-10. 10 being, for example, my relationships are awesome, to 1, not got any relationships, life sucks!
Then you need to find out how you are going to change what you are not happy with. Self-Love, comes from loving ones life as is, despite adversity and setbacks. But it is also about being honest with yourself. If any of these areas are making you feel bad, you need to change that. If you hate change – welcome to the club! Even I still find change difficult, but if you want to have a richer life and feel alive, you have to move and that means changing what you do and yes, that may me changing YOU too, to be the best version of you! Life is short, time is precious, so get a move on with your life!
In order to change, self-awareness is key. When a change happens to us, like we are made redundant, we then start to question our life and think about what has happened and what may happen. But why wait for any more change to happen to you? Wouldn’t it be better to make change work for you? Find out what you love, what makes you feel great and go do that. Be your own self and love you. Love all that you are and all that you do!