Being redundant can really suck, but what is worse is being made redundant and feeling lost as a single person. But all is not lost. Being single can be beautiful and here are 7 steps you can take to become happy being single!
International Celebrate Being Single Day is just around the corner (Feb 14th), and having founded this special day for singles to celebrate being single, you may be asking yourself, just what is so great about being single. For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may have seen my www.Twitter.com/quirkycoaching profile and thought, just what is #powerofone. Power Of One is a powerful online training and coaching programme that I am creating, to show you, just how to be single and be happy being single.
Since being predominantly single from November 5th, 2011, I began to challenge my mind about the way it thinks about being in a relationship and being single. I was in relationships with guys who were no good for me since 15 years of age – until 2011 – about 19 years of my life! With the largest period of being single in that time, just 6 months! 2 relationships I had were long term (not good for me) and lasted years. I wasn’t a happy person back then and had low self-esteem. I did not like being on my own because I felt alone and very lonely, I liked to be needed, wanted and loved, and felt I wanted someone there for me 24/7 as life would be boring on my own. I am also a very romantic person.
It is fine to want to be needed, wanted and loved – but what I have discovered is that you need to get these 3 things from yourself first and foremost; to be at one with your own soul – then you will you be happy and fulfilled as a single person and less likely to get into a relationship that is no good for you because you will not ‘need’ to be in a relationship. In fact, you may fill your own life with so much joy and happiness that being in a relationship no longer appeals to you. Either way, you will have unleashed your power of one and be on your way to being a super successful single sensation.
Step 1. You need to take stock of your life and realise that you have a problem being single and find out why that is.
Step 2. You need to be willing to have an open mind and accept you need to change in this respect.
Step 3. If you have been in relationships for most of your life, you need to give yourself some time to yourself and vow to do all you can to stay single for a set period of time – mine was a year; so I could have time to stop ‘needing’ someone. If on the other hand you have been single all your life and would like to be in a relationship but don’t know how to go about it, then you have some work to do on yourself to ensure you can be single and be happy – as well as work to do on your dating and relationship skills. You can still enjoy dating as a single person and it is good to see what is on offer from a variety of sources, rather than thinking one person is the only choice you have!
Step 4.You need to explore and find things to build your confidence and self-esteem, as well as discover ways to help you to be happy being single. This could include learning from books, articles, training courses, magazines, blogs, videos, audio books and podcasts, or through coaching and/or being mentored.
Step 5. You need to decide what ways you learn best – visual, auditory (listen), verbal, written, – so you can pick which learning method is best for you and implement it. If you don’t know which suits you best, try each out until you find which works best for you. Being happy to be single is a skill you need to master and maintain and you need to recognise this and accept it.
Step 6. Take massive action. You need to implement what you have learned, if you are not prepared to do this then you will stay stuck being single and unhappy – everyone has a choice regardless of their circumstances. If you have no money there is free to watch YouTube videos, blog posts and online articles to read. There is no excuse for not changing your life!
Step 7. Evaluate and monitor your progress via each learning method. If something doesn’t work, then try something else until you can honestly say you are happy being single.
If you would like the early bird offer for my new online training/coaching course when it comes out – just fill in the form below and you will also receive a free bi-monthly newsletter with information, inspiration, motivation and advice, about how to be happy being single.
How are you celebrating being single on Feb 14th – International Celebrate Being Single Day?
Please add #ICBSD to any posts and media you post online to show how proud you are to celebrate International Celebrate Being Single Day!!
What struggles do you have being single and what help would you like to overcome them?
Until next time
I am very happy and excited to have been chosen to meet Her Majesty the Queen, at St James’s Palace, on Monday 15th of July.
For those of you who follow me on Twitter, on Facebook or on my other blog http://www.quirkybooks.wordpress.com, you may already know this and a few of you I have mentioned it to in my comments. For the rest of my lovely blog followers, the last update I gave you, was that I had been invited to St James’s Palace in the presence of HM the Queen. I have since had a letter to say I have been chosen to meet HM the Queen.
I have been sent a map of the inside of the Palace and have been told I am group 10, in the Queen Anne Room, to meet the Queen.
There is a red dotted line to indicate which route HM the Queen will take.
There are instructions of what I should say and do when I meet HM the Queen.
If someone had told me a few years ago, that in the future I would be meeting HM the Queen at St James’s Palace, I would have laughed and said they had a vivid imagination, or yes, in my dreams. But I did something very important in my life, I changed my attitude and my belief in myself.
When I was made redundant for the second time in my life, in 2009, this was the starting point of that change. I knew from then on, that I was born 100% to write and to help others who have been made redundant to get back into work. It was the start of my creative journey. However, needing money and taking on a succession of temporary jobs, that I wasn’t happy in, took it’s toll, and although I still had these goals in mind, I didn’t do much about them at that time.
By the end of 2009, I got a job as an Assistant Manager of a shop and a couple of months later I was promoted to Shop Manager. The drawback was, most weeks I would be working 60 hours a week instead of my contracted 40.
In October 2010, I got headhunted to work as a Sales Person for more money doing less hours and so I took it. After almost a year of working there, I decided to take a year out from work, to develop myself, my skills, my knowledge and expertise to grow as a person and to finally fulfil my destiny of writing and helping others to get back into work. During that time, I gained all of those and so much more.
Although I am working again in a retail sales job during the day, I have chosen to be in a job as a Sales Person not as a Manager, so my hours are stable and kept to a minimum. The pay is not great but I can focus on building two businesses around my two goals during the evenings and my time off. I now know what action to take to make progress with those two goals. I still have time to do courses and to develop myself as a person. I am continuing on the path to fulfil my dreams and you can do it too. I am living proof that dreams can come true. Never, ever, give up on your own dreams. Believe they are achievable and that anything is possible.
Be blessed with what you have,
fight for what you want,
believe in yourself,
helps others along the way,
change when you are able to
and never look back.
Keep looking forward because your future is in your hands.
Treat yourself kindly,
look after those who are important in your life,
allow yourself ups and downs,
you are only human.
Above all, love yourself, live life to the max and do what makes you happy over and over again.
Until next time, keep writing and keep smiling.