Redundancy Inspiration

7 Year Freedom From Abuse Anniversary

Today, marks the 7 Year Anniversary of me being free from abuse, and to celebrate I went on a self-date to the cinema and saw Disney’s The Nutcracker and the Four Realms. Which was an amazing family film. It is very Christmassy, with magic, wonder, beautiful costumes and sets, and some nicely simple special effects that were great for the film. Here is the trailer:

My ex is not something I have mentioned much on this blog, but I wanted to post about my 7 year freedom from abuse anniversary, across all 3 of my blogs, including this one, to inspire others that they can break free from not only the abuser, but from that life you have become emotionally attached to, even though you KNOW it’s bad for you. You are hooked on the trance that it puts you in at the time, even when you KNOW you need to leave, but you feel you cannot get out of it. Partly because you are scared that you will find no one better and that no one will love you like they did, because that is what they will have you believe, and with a lack of self-esteem and self-love, it is hard not to cling on for dear life, even though that life is far from dear.

My ex was verbally, emotionally, and mentally abusive, and also physically threatening. Fortunately, he was not sexually abusive, and was good to me in that way.

In this video from my Asexualise My Asexual Life channel, that was live streamed, you can hear what I had to say about my past experience and how happy I am now to be free of that abuse, and living as a single, happy person.

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx

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Redundancy

How to self-love!

Me (on a self-date to Bristol).
Blue frog at Bristol Zoo.
Can you find the goby?

 

 

Beautiful Butterfly.

 

If you want self-love, you need to love yourself, and that ability comes from understanding multiple aspects of your life, accepting the now in each of those and changing what you don’t like, want or need, as much as you can. It’s also about knowing and accepting that things will happen in life that you have no control over but that you are okay as you are whatever happens, and you will get through any challenge life has to offer you.

If you rush around being swept up in life, it can be tough to focus on yourself. But you need to spend some time with yourself in order to assess how life really is for you, and if you need to make any dramatic and significant changes to improve your life. This starts with understanding yourself in this moment, right now! This is called being present and mindful.

What is in the past has gone, and while it is useful to reflect and learn from it, you must not hold onto it so it consumes you in the present. If you do not change and move on, you stay stagnant and this can lead to depression. Your mind needs to be stimulated and if you don’t, all you will keep doing is going around life in circles like the clothes cycle in a washing machine, and your brain will die, even if your body is still here – this was me yeas ago. I stayed doing the normal things, because that is how I was programmed to be, then, in 2012, I woke up to a different life and a different way of being when I saw Life and Business Coach Anthony Robbins at a Success Seminar in London. He taught among others things, to change your state if you want to change your life and to get out of your comfort zone – I did both of those things and keep pushing myself to do them as much as possible, every year and often month to month, despite still having some personal anxiety at times. Why do I do this? Because I want to lead as rich and full life as possible, one that does not involve me watching countless hours of soaps and not adding any value to people’s lives. Because I know I have more to give to the world than I am currently giving and therefore, I have more to give myself. I have to give myself more confidence, more self-belief and more empowerment, and in return I will receive more self-love to cuddle up to.

So think about your life right now and think about how you would like to change it? Think about your:

  • Relationships – With family, with friends and with loved ones?
  • Health – Are you feeling good in your body?
  • Mind – Are your thoughts negative or positive?
  • Are you actively seeking work you love or are you trying to clutch at straws to get anything you can?
  • Finances – How are they right now? What do you think will improve your situation is this aspect and what are you going to do about it?
  • Life goals and mission – Do you know your purpose? Do you know what you would love to do and how are you going to achieve that?
  • Attitude – This is tied into mindset, but have you got the right attitude to get you the right mindset?

Assess how you are in each of these in a scale of 1-10. 10 being, for example, my relationships are awesome, to 1, not got any relationships, life sucks!

Then you need to find out how you are going to change what you are not happy with. Self-Love, comes from loving ones life as is, despite adversity and setbacks. But it is also about being honest with yourself.  If any of these areas are making you feel bad, you need to change that. If you hate change – welcome to the club! Even I still find change difficult, but if you want to have a richer life and feel alive, you have to move and that means changing what you do and yes, that may me changing YOU too, to be the best version of you! Life is short, time is precious, so get a move on with your life!

In order to change, self-awareness is key. When a change happens to us, like we are made redundant, we then start to question our life and think about what has happened and what may happen. But why wait for any more change to happen to you? Wouldn’t it be better to make change work for you? Find out what you love, what makes you feel great and go do that. Be your own self and love you. Love all that you are and all that you do!

And remember, I love you for being YOU!